1 of 1 copy available
At twenty-eight (thirty-one), Clarissa Alpert is blessed with a designer wardrobe, a daddy-subsidized apartment, and an A-list speed-dial. Gorgeous and wildly uninhibited, she has amassed a list of exes that amounts to a Who's Who of Hollywood power players. But with her twenty-ninth (thirty-second) birthday looming, she starts to panic. Who on earth could possibly make her an honest woman?
She's reserved a table for two.
Enter Aaron Mason, the latest, hottest new producer in town, who Clarissa decides is the future "Mr. Alpert." With the help of her vivacious friends, her aerobicized Latina mother, her ex-con father, and the most divine gay waiter in Hollywood, Clarissa plans the biggest wedding L.A. has seen in years — all before the couple's first date. Catching Aaron's eye is not the problem. He just seems to have his own agenda. Could Clarissa have finally bitten off more than she can chew?
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
June 1, 2003 -
Formats
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OverDrive Listen audiobook
- ISBN: 9780743562218
- File size: 162412 KB
- Duration: 05:38:21
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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Easily one of the funniest and most entertaining audiobooks in memory, MANEATER, masterfully performed (not merely read) by Uma Thurman, is a must listen if you like razor-sharp, no-holds-barred wit, including catty, cynical, merciless humor, and writing that wastes no opportunity to entertain. Shocking, hilarious, and ultimately heartbreaking, MANEATER recounts the life of Clarissa Alpert, a clueless, blonde 30-something (she says she's 28) Beverly Hills native who takes her stereotype into the stratosphere and back in her search for a husband. You'll wish her story were twice as long--it's that much fun. Thurman seems completely familiar with the characters and lovingly injects three-dimensionality into each. She knows how to play comedy as well--no easy task for most actors. Put on your Prada and enjoy, like, now! D.J.B. Winner of AudioFile Earphones Award (c) AudioFile 2004, Portland, Maine -
May 12, 2003
Masquerading as chick lit, this pitch-black comedy by Grazer (Rescue Me) is actually a scathing satire of L.A. society (to use the term loosely). Clarissa Alpert is 31-admitting-to-28, wears only Gucci and Prada, greets friend and foe alike with "a triple-cheek air kiss" and "had slept her way, without mercy, regret, mourning or conscience, through Greater Los Angeles." Her four best friends, less clever than she but equally venal, agree that Clarissa is the valedictorian of men. Among them, love is rare, but sex is plentiful and organized into a precise taxonomy that includes the "Curiosity Fuck," the "Boredom Fuck" and more. But lately Clarissa has decided that it's time to get married. Fortuitously, film-school grad and would-be producer Aaron Mason appears in her life. He's wearing cowboy boots (ugh), but driving a Bentley (her favorite car to be seen in); he's a foreigner (anyone born between California and New York is foreign), but the heir to a department store fortune. After her first sighting of him, Clarissa reserves the hotel and the florist and selects her Vera Wang wedding gown. Her divorced parents—amiable, chick-chasing father and "brittle-boned, anorexic, four-pack-a-day smoker Jewish mother"—bring their own demented enthusiasms to the matrimonial pursuit. In due course, the fanciest wedding of the season takes place despite the bride's refusal to sign a pre-nup. But this is only one-third of the way through the book, and as you might imagine, Clarissa doesn't quite live happily ever after. A true antiheroine, Clarissa, like the rest of the cast, is unapologetically loathsome. In lesser hands she would be merely irritating, but Grazer gives Clarissa just enough intelligence and spark to make her shameless antics deliciously entertaining. Agent, Jennifer Rudolph Walsh. (June)Forecast:Grazer, the screenwriter of
Stepmom, is married to producer Brian Grazer (partner of Ron Howard).
Maneater has already been optioned by Mandalay Pictures and promises to fare well on the big screen, so long as Hollywood can handle its sharp teeth. -
August 4, 2003
No other actor could capture the voice of spoiled L.A. golddigger Clarissa Alpert as perfectly as Thurman does here. She effortlessly evokes the petulance, sense of entitlement and "Ohmigod, wait 'til I tell you..." Valley Girl shallowness of this hilarious anti-heroine. Thurman effectively differentiates all the character voices, including Clarissa's coterie of colorful girlfriends. She offers a hint of British accent for Simon, Clarissa's pretentious, faux-English ex-boyfriend; a light Spanish accent for Alejandra, Clarissa's Brazilian mom; and a smarmy, false sincerity for the Hollywood movers and shakers who populate Clarissa's world. The story itself is frothy fun with a wicked satirical edge. As soon as she hears of Aaron Mason, the hottest movie producer in town, Clarissa decides to land him and his bankroll for herself, and begins phoning florists and caterers to plan their wedding—before they even meet. Her machinations are successful—or so she thinks. It turns out her quarry has been scheming just as shrewdly, motivated by his own agenda. Perfect for a long road trip or a lazy weekend at the beach, Grazer's entertaining satire is sure to spice up any occasion. Simultaneous release with the Simon & Schuster hardcover (Forecasts, May 12).
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